Ipod shuffle challenge: Degrassi
by warblinginthetardis
Summary: I decided I would do the Ipod shuffle challenge! The chapters will mostly be Eclare centered, but there will be others in there as well. This is my first Degrassi fanfic ever so please be leniant with me at first.
1. Thinking of you

So, this first chapter is Thinking of You by Katy Perry. Enjoy and Review s'il vous plait!

Clare POV

I swayed on the dance floor at Vegas Night, discretely checking my watch. I wasn't in the arms I wanted. No, those arms, Eli's arms, were across the gymnasium next to the blackjack table. I had been thinking of him all night, wishing that I was with him. Instead, Fitz had his arms wrapped around my waist so tight it made think that he thought I would bolt if he loosened his hold any. Which in this case was completely true. I looked over again at Eli, and found him boring holes into Fitz's head. When he caught my eyes, he smirked and shook his head at me. Fitz noticed my obvious fixation on my gorgeous, mysterious, amazing boyfriend. Well, he was my boyfriend before I told him that Fitz asked me to go to Vegas Night with him and I had no choice because if I didn't then he would hurt Eli. But I wasn't so sure now. Fitz turned my head with only two of his fingers so I was looking at him again. I wished instead that I was staring into Eli's perfect jade eyes.

"Clare, tonight's been perfect. I guess I'm not going to have to hurt that little emo kid," he taunted. I huffed and pushed away from him.

"Fitz, why don't you just go and ruin another girl's evening that would have been _perfect_ without you," I half-shouted. I tried to shove fully away from him, but he wasn't having any of that.

"Oh no you don't," he snarled before crushing his mouth to mine. All I could think of, all I could _taste_ was Eli's mouth; the mint and slightly smoky taste that was Eli. Luckily, I wasn't so far gone that I kissed Fitz back. In a second, Eli was there, forcing him away from me. He hit Fitz hard across the jaw and left him clutching at the lower half of his face.

"Don't you _ever_ kiss my _girlfriend_ ever again," Eli seethed. I tugged on his arm, trying to drag him away before one of the chaperones came. He turned to me and led me to the very center of the dance floor.

"Eli," I said slowly "What are you doing?" He smirked.

"May I please have this dance? I do recall a terrible ape stealing all the others away from me," he asked as he brushed a stray curl out of my blue eyes. I locked my arms around his neck and kissed him slowly. He took that as a yes and we began dancing to the slow song that played. Our eyes stayed locked, and I decided that his eyes were where I wanted to stay forever.

_Cause when I'm with him_

_I am thinking of youThinking of you_

_What you would do ifYou were the oneWho was spending the night_

_Oh I wish that I Was looking into your eyes..._


	2. Your Call

**Hey guys! I'm pretty excited by all the people that either put this story on their favorites or their story alert. But I'd like some more reviews. (: Anyway, this chapter is based on Your Call by Secondhand Serenade**

Eli POV

I sat on my partially cleared bed, staring at my phone in my hand. It had been a week since the Vegas Night incident. You know, that one where I almost got stabbed by a neanderthal? That one. And, while I knew Clare was _pissed_ about how Fitz could have killed me because I was just a smidge cocky, I didn't think that she wouldn't call or anything? Because I mean, let's face it, _I'm_ the one that almost died. Shouldn't that count for something at least? I sighed and lay back down on my bed. What I wouldn't give just for a call from her. I was waiting for that call; her saying she's sick or she's angry or that she's just desperate for my voice. But as much as I wanted her to call me, I wasn't really picking up the phone and trying to call her. Because I knew that if I did, the only thing that would come out of my mouth would be _I love you_. And I knew that we weren't ready for that. I leaned over to change the song on my Ipod, hoping that would help me to stop thinking about her. But, as only my life would have it, the only Dead Hand song that she would sing with me while we sat in my car came on. I was tired of staying at my house, just waiting for her to do something. I mean, the guy is supposed to be the one to step up first, right? Damn, I'm such a pansy. I got up and raced out my door to go to Clare's and apologize for being so stupid. All I wanted to do was see her, and I would.

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry call I'm desperate for your voice

Listening to the song we used to sing In the car, do you remember Butterfly, Early Summer

It's playing on repeat,

Just like when we would meet

Like when we would meet


	3. Take Me Out

**Bonsoir! (or Bonjour, depending on what time you read this) This chapter is inspired by the song Take me out by Atomic Tom. I'm really concerned with the, ahem, few reviews I've gotten on this story. I really want to hear what y'all are thinking when you're reading this, so reviews would be nice. Anyhow, on with the story. **

Clare's Pov

I sat in my room, and even though I was upstairs and my parents were down in the living room, I could still hear their angry screams as if I was sitting in the same room. Eli's sound canceling headphones sat on the bedside table beside me, but I knew they wouldn't do me any good. Sure, I wouldn't hear them, but that didn't mean that it wasn't happening. I couldn't just make it go away. I grabbed my phone off my bed and sent Eli a text message.

_Hey ): Would you mind if I came by your house tonight? _It seemed as if the second I hit the 'send' key, that he replied.

_Parent's fighting again, babe? _I nodded, as if he could actually see me, and a tear or two slipped out of my eyes and landed on my purple and blue comforter.

_Yeah. :/_

_You know it's okay for you to come over any time you want. Wait, are you spending the night or not?_ I bit my lip and tugged on one of my short curls. The last time I asked to spend the night at his place he had flat out refused. Of course, I now knew that was due to his hoarding. But he and I had been spending afternoons and weekends working on it, and now only a small section remained. But I wasn't sure if he would really be comfortable with me being over there.

_Umm, would it be okay? With you, I mean._ It took him a little longer to reply to that.

_Yeah. It'd be fine. I want you over here (:_ Just that one text was enough to make my heart skip a beat and butterflies to flutter in my stomach. I didn't reply to that. I threw a bra, underwear, and my school uniform in my green and black bag. I was already wearing one of Eli's Dead Hand t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants, so I climbed out of my window and shimmed out onto the roof before using the ever-helpful tree to get safely onto the ground. It wasn't a long way to Eli's, so I just walked there. Bad idea. By the time I got there, I thought my teeth would fall out because I was shivering so bad. I stopped on the first stair of the porch, just a bit hesitant. But, before I could even get to the door, he was there.

"Jesus Clare! You look like you're going to fall to pieces." Well, I guess I look like I feel now. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the house where the heat hit me like a tidal wave to the face. Instead of being the calm and completely rational person like I usually was, I threw my arms around him and buried my head in his chest. He struggled to close the door, but I guess he ended up closing it. We stumbled backwards onto his couch. I couldn't tell you how long we stayed there. He held me and stroked my back and hair. He kissed away the tears that leaked out.

"Clare, are you okay?" he asked when the tears stopped.

"Yeah. I'm really sorry you had to see that," I apologized after I cleared my throat. "I just…I can't stay home if they're fighting! I feel like I'm disappearing and I can't do anything about it! I don't want to stay home because I feel like I'm not there!" His green eyes pierced me with such intensity that I couldn't doubt what he said.

"No, Clare. You're not disappearing. Your right in front of me, and I hope you always will be. And as for the not want to stay home, you know that you are always welcome here." Without another thought, I leaned down and crushed my lips to his. I gasped when I felt the blood boil underneath my cold lips, and he used that opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth. I welcomed it eagerly. When he started trailing kisses along my jaw, I made a snap decision. True love or not, parents be damned, I slipped my purity ring off my finger and threw it somewhere in the room. He noticed, and looked at me with one eyebrow raised.

"Clare, you don't need to do this if you're not comfortable. And I don't want your first time to be in reaction to your parents fights," he said hesitantly.

"No, Eli. This is because I want to. I need to feel close to somebody. And I want that somebody to be you." He smirked at me and leaned down to kiss me softly.

"You little devil!" he whispered softly into my ear. And then we continued into that small, most blissful moment of my life.

Love is what you make it

Take my heart and break it

Take me out

I don't want to stay home

**P.S. Longest Chapter! woot!**


	4. When She Turns 18

**Quick little A.N. here: I love this story, and I'd love to see what y'all think about it, so could I please get some reviews? **

**This Chapter is based off of the song When She Turns 18 by Christian TV (: Enjoyy**

Eli's POV

Clare's eighteenth birthday was coming up. This came as a huge relief to me. I was a year older, and Clare's parents thought it would be best if we 'kept our distance'. They pretty much thought that I was worthless and no good for her daughter, and they didn't think it was right for Clare and I to be together like we wanted to. She wanted attention from them, and if they didn't pay attention to the good things she did, then she would be with me. At first I thought she was only staying with me because it pissed them off, but she assured me time and time again that she really did love me. And, of course the one thing that they agreed on was what would keep the two of us apart. But, Clare and I had creative workarounds her parents rules. They were divorced, and worked on the other side of town, so that left Clare without a ride home after school. And they expected her to walk home every single day. So, naturally I came by every single day and picked her up in Morty. How they could have been stupid enough to not see that is beyond me. I parked in front of Degrassi and waited for Clare to come outside. Luckily, I only had to wait a minute or two before she came down the front steps and all but threw herself into the passenger seat. I leaned over and gave her a quick kiss before pealing out of the parking lot.

"So, how have you been since yesterday?" I asked conversationally. She leaned over and put her head on my shoulder and lightly kissed my neck.

"Okay, I guess. It's so weird with you not being at school with me anymore," she said wistfully. I kissed her forehead and sighed.

"I know. But just think about it, in a few days, you'll be eighteen and out of high school forever. Then we can just see each other anytime we want." Her birthday also meant her choice between keeping with her parents strict rules or staying with me despite their absolute hatred of me.

"Not if my stupid parents have anything to do with it," she mumbled into my shirt. I stopped in front of the Dot and turned to her, confused.

"What are you talking about?" She waved her hand like it was nothing and gave me a light kiss.

"It's really nothing. They're just getting on to me about how even after I graduate you'll still be a year older and I shouldn't be with someone like you. You know, all the usual stuff. Hey, can we just skip the Dot today? I really just want to hang out with you at my house. Alone," she trailed off on the end. I didn't need anymore convincing than that. I wasn't going to expect anything more than a heavy make out session. We had sex one time, but we both agreed that we would wait until we were at least engaged before doing it again. When we pulled up in front of her house, we were in each other's arms before we even made it in the door. Our lips crushed against the other and our tongues battled for dominance by the time we were in front room. I roughly pressed her into the wall and worked on her neck while she tugged at my hair.

"CLARE DIANE EDWARDS!" her father yelled as he stormed into the hall. Well, there's a mood killer if there ever was one. We snapped apart and slowly turned around to face him. I stood there as he eyed the two of us with wide angry eyes and I hoped he couldn't see the red mark forming on her neck. Clare on the other hand, the little devil, leaned up against me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

"CLARE EDWARDS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING BRINGING THAT _BOY_ INTO THIS HOUSE?" he demanded angrily.

"I thought you weren't going to be here till later tonight. And, I'm _pretty sure_ you don't really need a breakdown of what Eli and I were doing," she replied, just a little sardonic, while she clung to me. When he turned to me, I automatically gulped.

"I think you should go so I can have a chat with my daughter here." Clare shook her head at me, so I stayed where I was.

"No, dad. I'm going to be eighteen soon. And you can't really keep me from Eli, so you and mom really should stop trying so hard." We grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door before her father could get another word out.

"Clare, did I ever mention I love you?" I asked with a laugh once we were outside. She smiled and laughed with me.

"Yeah, once or twice," she joked.

Damn she's amazing. And she's all mine.

When she turns 18 she'll finally be free to do  
What she wants to do  
When she turns 18, she'll choose between me and you


	5. Alejandro

**'Ello! This chapter was inspired by a review from Goldsworthyalltheway**

**The chapter song is Alejandro by Lady GaGa**

Clare's POV

"KC leave me alone! We broke up, remember? You wanted Jenna. And I have a boyfriend now. Eli." I leaned up against my locker as KC tried to convince me to give him _another_ chance.

"No, babe listen-" I cut him off before he could say another word.

"I'm not your _babe_ KC! Can't you see that? Anyway, you should probably get back to Jenna now." Before he could get another word in, I walked away. I was on my way to meet Eli at the Dot when KC came up to me. He claimed that breaking up with me was a mistake and that he wanted me back. Of course, this only came after I got a makeover that included laser eye surgery and the most amazing boyfriend ever. I came down the front steps and almost got off school property before Fitz came up to me and grabbed my elbow.

"FITZ!" I screeched. He shook his head at me.

"Why are you freaking out?" Oh, right. Because it's unnatural to panic when the guy that almost got my boyfriend killed comes up and grabs me. Sorry I missed that memo.

"Hmm, maybe because you almost killed Eli? You know, that might not be it, but I can't think of anything else!" I replied sarcastically. Eli was rubbing off on me apparently. I used sarcasm a lot more than I used to now that I started dating him.

"What? That little emo boy had it coming to him! Actually, Eli's why I came here to talk to you." Oh God. No, no don't say it.

"You should dump that emo kid's skinny ass and be with me," he said, just as cocky as ever. I jerked quickly out of his hold and stepped a few feet away.

"NO. Why can't people just see that I'm with Eli, and that I feel right with him?" I had meant it as a rhetorical question, but he was too dumb to get it.

"C'mon, how could you? You and me, we have a spiritual connection. He's an atheist. How could you see anything in him that you can't see in someone that follows Jesus like you?" You know, usually I'm not a very violent person, but I might just need to invest in a punching bag with KC's and Fitz's faces on it.

"Because Eli's a better man than you'll ever be. Atheist or not," I replied. And with that, I turned around to go to the dot like I had originally planned.

"Clare!" he called loudly from behind me.

"Stop talking to me!" I yelled without turning around.

I found Eli sitting at one of the tables outside. When he saw me, he smiled a genuine smile. I had grown accustomed to his sexy smirk, so his actual smile never ceased to amaze me. He kissed me before I sat down, and I was instantly breathless.

"So, not to pry or anything, but what's with the hold up, Edwards? I'm pretty sure most of the ice in your drink has melted," he asked after a minute or two. I laughed to myself.

"You don't want to know." I was glad he took that as a satisfactory response. I had been right. None of those boys had anything on mine.

Don't call my name

Don't call my name, Alejandro

I'm not your babe

I'm not your babe, Fernando


	6. Breakeven

**'Ello my lovelies! I thought I'd give Eli and Clare a bit of a break today, so here's some KC angst! (because we all just want him to feel terrible to what he did to Clare).**

KC's POV

I watched, quite pitifully I might add, Clare and her new boyfriend from across the cafeteria. They sat there, holding hands, laughing, kissing despite the new PDA rules. Even though it had been a while since I had broken up with her, I still felt miserable. I thought that I had wanted Jenna more than her. Look how that worked out; I'm without Jenna because I got her pregnant and I panicked and left her. Now Clare was happy and I was the loser sitting across the room, envious of some little skinny emo punk. But, unlike me, he probably treats her like she deserves. He wouldn't blow her off in front of his friends just to look cool. Not that he has many anyway, but that's beside the point. Now, I just lay awake and wished that I could reverse the past. Drew and everyone else noticed how weird I had been in the past few weeks, and when I finally told them why, they laughed until they really saw that this was really taking its toll on me. Now, I look like some love-sick loser to my friends and I'm without the one girl who encouraged me to be a better person. She was always the best part of me, and I couldn't see that until it was too late. So now she sits laughing and carrying on with Eli and I'm miserable.

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you,  
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,  
I'm falling to pieces

**Shortest chapter I've written, not really proud of that but ehh, what can you do?**


	7. One of The Boys

**Ehh, short again. This was inspired by a review from Kaytie127. As I always say….REVIEW! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, REVIEW! That's all.**

**And the chapter song is One of the Boys by Katy Perry. (Which I do not own)**

Clare's POV

I had never really felt like I was part of my group of friends. Well, the girls at least. Alli and Jenna were both girly. They loved makeup and cheerleading and obsessing over boys. I on the other hand hung out with the guys, Eli and Adam in particular. The whole 'friendship thing' worked out for a bit. Until I started having feelings for Eli. Romantic ones that kept poking around in my head every time he came around. Only Adam and Alli knew about it, and they seemed to make an attempt at sympathy. But we all knew that Eli would never really see me as a girl. I was just one of the guys, and nothing would change that. But, one glorious albeit hideous Monday morning, my little head hatched an idea.

"Alli, I need you to change me. I want to be more like you. Girly and pretty," I all but begged when I all but snatched her away from Drew. She yawned, apparently the Starbucks affect had worn off.

"You want me to do what?" I sighed and repeated myself slowly and clearly. She gave me an odd look, and I couldn't determine if it was wary or gleeful.

"Clare, is this about Eli?" I blushed and nodded as I bit my lip. She squealed and hugged me. "This is going to be so much fun!" And with that, she dragged me off to the girls restroom. When I told Alli, I didn't expect the makeover to come that day. But Alli always wanted to do things yesterday. We spent all of first period in there. She used that time judiciously, I'll give her that much. When I walked out of there, I looked better than I ever had in my entire life. And just in time; First hour had just been let out, and everybody was in the halls. Guys that had never seen me before turned around to look at me until they had to round a corner. Eli was there when I arrived at my locker, and when he saw me, he stopped what he was doing and mouthed 'shit' when he saw me.

"So, umm, Clare. You look…nice today," he stammered.

"Elijah Goldsworthy at a loss for words. I think there is a God," Adam declared dramatically, earning a punch from Eli in the shoulder. I blushed a little before heading off to my English class, where Eli would be again, without a word to him. Just one small smile.

One thing was for certain, I would never be called one of the boys again.

So I don't wanna be one of the boys, one of your guys  
Just give me a chance to prove to you tonight  
That I just wanna be one of the girls  
Pretty in pearls, not one of the boys


	8. Don't

**AN: Sorry I haven't updated recently, I have no excuse :c**

**This chapter is inspired by the song Don't by Jesse Ruben. (yes this song was on an episode of Degrassi)**

Eli's pov

"Clare, if you don't mean it, then just don't say it! I mean, I can't understand why you can't just seem to grasp that concept," I half shouted. She huffed and continued throwing things into her bag.

"I mean exactly what I say, you just can't see that," she yelled as she threw a shoe that narrowly missed my head.

"No, Clare. You say almost every other week that you're leaving me and going to your mother's. But every single time you end up staying, and we go back to how we were!" She yelled and threw another object that glanced my shoulder.

"No! I mean it this time! I'm better off without you, and I keep hanging onto you because I feel like you need me!" Ouch. That hurt.

"You don't have to tell me that! And don't expect to agree with you on this! I've said that quite a few times over the years and you've always vehemently challenged that. So why did you decide to recant all of a sudden?" She ignored me and pushed past me to the door, just as I thought she would. We had been going at this for weeks now, if not a few months. All of a sudden, we would get into fights about something that neither of us could remember after we stopped. And every time she threatened to leave. Those threats hurt me every time, but I never let it show.

"Look, Eli. It's obvious that we're never going to be on the same page. We weren't even in high school. And I'd much rather we go our separate ways now instead of later," she said quietly.

"Clare, we are not your parents! And we're not some story book romance, nothing is ever that easy. But I'm so sick of screaming at each other like we're stubborn little kids. I don't want to fight with you," I whispered as I came up behind her. She shook her head and stepped away from me.

"No. Maybe we can just be friends, but this isn't going to work anymore." I stopped dead in my tracks. I had never really seriously considered breaking up with Clare, so now that that moment seemed to be right in front of me, it took my by surprise.

"No. Don't say that, baby. I want to be with you, only you. And I hate when you try this, so please don't," I half pleaded. She bit her lip, as if she wasn't sure what to do. All of a sudden, she dropped her bag and flung her arms around my neck.

"I just don't know what to do. I'm so scared of you leaving me, that I think it will be better if I just do it myself. But every single time I can't. Because I just can't bear the thought of me leaving and you loving someone else," she whispered into my shoulder. I put both of my hands on her cheeks and gently tilted her head up to look at me.

"It's okay, I'm not going anywhere."

Please stop saying things that you don't mean  
Don't expect me to agree  
You don't need to drive the point home  
So don't, baby don't


	9. The Truth About Heaven

**An: Yeahh, i've never done Julia before, so this was a bit of an experience. I'd like some feedback. (positive or negative)**

**This chapter was (loosely) based off of the song The Truth About Heaven by Armor for Sleep**

Julia's POV

I walked past my grave in the city graveyard on a warm summer night. Odd, I know. Normally, spirits don't come back to earth, but I felt that I just had to. Just to see how Eli was doing without me. Now, some might think it morbid that I come back maybe once every two months just to see how he was doing, but really it's just because I miss him. Heaven is miserable without him, it really is. It's more like hell, what with me not being able to wake up next to him with his arms wrapped around me. And, the last time I saw him, he seemed pretty miserable as well. It hurt me that he was hurting so bad because he didn't see why I had to leave. I made my way over to his house, and felt a faint smile play on my lips when I saw his hearse. God, I missed being able to make fun of him because he named it Morty. I ghosted my hand over top of the hood, and I wished I could actually touch it. I waltzed right in through the closed door; it didn't matter how many times I did that, it still felt _unnatural_. I saw CeCe making something in the kitchen, and Bullfrog sitting on the couch watching television. They were laughing together, and it made my heart ache, figuratively, that I couldn't tell them how much they meant to me. But, even as I took another glance over the living room, I still didn't see Eli. I sighed and made my way up the stairs and into his bedroom. I took a good long look on his door, but I couldn't figure out what was different about it from the last time. _Oh wait,_ the lock was no longer there. I cocked my head to the side, intrigued as to why the combination lock was no longer there. I walked in, and was for once happy that I was a ghost and invisible to the world. Because that meant that neither of them could see me blush red with chagrin. Well, I couldn't either, but I certainly felt like it. Eli was sitting on his bed with some other girl, and they were full on making out. She was, _cute_, I guess. I had never really imagined seeing him with someone who didn't look like, well, me. I stood there for a little while until they broke apart. They whispered their 'I love yous', and I didn't feel even a hint of anger at this girl who had captured the heart that had once been mine. Sure, my 'life', 'existence', whatever you want to call it, was miserable without him. But it certainly wasn't fair of me to expect him to be miserable without me forever. I once had a conversation with him about soul mates. He didn't believe in them at all, damn atheist and not believing in shit. But, I said that I often felt like he was just it for me, all I ever wanted. But, I also didn't think that I was really 'the one' for him. Of course, he denied it and said that he just wanted me. I smiled, and felt myself dissipate once and for all. I was happy now that Eli was happy, and that's all that really mattered.

I came down here to tell you  
It rains in heaven all day long (All day long)  
I wanna find you so bad and let you know  
I'm miserable up here without you (Miserable up here without you)

P.S.-I owe Chelfrie for acknowledging my glaring mistake. For those of you who read this beforehand, i apologize for not getting JULIA'S name right. If you read this after...you're lucky


	10. Lying is the most fun

**A.N.: Yes, Eli and Clare are extremely OOC in this one, and I really hope that this will be the last major OOC chapter for them.**

**The chapter song is Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off by Panic! At the Disco.**

CPOV

I walked out of Fitz's house, my heart sinking as I pulled my dress strap back up. I had been going back and forth between Fitz and Eli for almost a month now, and I felt horrible. Even though Eli knew why I was doing this to him, it still wounded him. I loved Eli, and I knew I didn't love Fitz. But I just felt like Fitz understood me on a level, a spiritual level, that Eli never would. It wasn't right of me to 'cheat' on him because of his beliefs; he understood me being a Christian, so why couldn't I understand that he was an atheist. But, it wasn't a secret that I was hooking up with both of them. And I knew that was what killed Eli the most was that I was hooking up with both of them. I couldn't just give myself to him. And I was pretty sure it haunted him that he couldn't be sure I was only thinking of him when we were in bed. But that was all going to end today, one way or another. But, being the coward that I am, I decided to go to my house first instead of facing Eli. I looked above my head, and big black and purple storm clouds were rolling in from the west. Well, there's an omen if there ever was one. I quickened my step and made it to my front door just in time before lightning crackled across the sky. My hand shook so much that I couldn't seem to fit the key into the lock. A lightly tanned hand shot out and grabbed my wrist so quickly that I squeaked and turned around. It was only Eli. My almost perfect Eli. Normally when I saw him, he at least made an attempt at looking happy, no matter how feeble the façade was. But today, he looked the worst I had ever seen him.

"Hey," I said, trying to keep the thickness I could feel in my throat out of my voice. At the sound of my voice, he snapped back into the Eli I knew before we started dating; hard, cold, and cynical.

"Can I talk to you? Inside perhaps, seeing as how the sky is about to open up." His voice was hard, and it cut me like sharp knives. I nodded and unlocked the door, allowing both of us to step inside.

"I can't do this anymore, Clare," he whispered the second we were both inside.

"What?" I asked. Like I didn't know what he was talking about. I just didn't want this to happen.

"I can't go on like this. Let's face it, I'm not who makes you sweat, or who you think about in bed. I don't make your heart race. Someone else does, obviously. I loved you, but you through that away on one slutty exchange of body heat in some passenger seat. I hope to God he was worth it." Tears raced down my cheeks like bullets from a gun at his words.

"No. No, Eli. Don't," I pleaded brokenly. He looked at me, resentment and grief and a hint of loving regret in his jade eyes. He crashed his slightly chapped lips to mine, and I kissed him with everything I had. But this wasn't like our other kisses. This was angry and finite. He pulled away roughly, and with that, he was gone, shutting my door with a hard bang that echoed in my empty house. I crumpled to the floor and cried the hardest I had in a long time.

"I chose you, Eli. It's always been you."

I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck  
Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me  
Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of  
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?  
No, no, no, you know it will always just be me

**P.S.-Yay! slutty Clare! just kidding**


	11. Never gonna leave this bed

**Whoa! Okay, I was honestly super surprised by the positive reviews on the last chapter. I really thought that people wouldn't like it because of how different Clare was and her whole persona. Wow, long AN. **

**Time jump in this one! I never really expected this story to be in any chronological order, so I'm sorry if anyone thought it would.**

**Chapter song is Never gonna leave this bed by Maroon 5**

Eli's POV

"Eli. Eli, get up!" Clare whispered in my ear as she pushed me away. I resisted however, and held onto the wooden bed frame above my head.

"Why are you being so pushy, Clare?" I mocked. I knew why she was trying to push me out of bed, I just didn't want to face reality. She huffed and I turned towards her so I could look at her. She didn't like how she looked in the morning, but I thought she was perfect.

"You know why. My dad will be up here to wake me up in a half hour and you have to be gone so you can come back and pick me up for school," she said as she rolled her eyes. I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her closer to me.

"How about, you and I just skip today? I never want to leave this bed," I sighed happily in her ear. She rolled her eyes again and pushed against me, harder than she had before.

"Go, Eli. It's not worth it, getting caught by my dad." She had to whisper because it was six thirty, which meant her dad would be in the shower by now and would be able to hear us. I shook my head, and she stifled a giggle as my black hair brushed across her cheekbones. She gave me a harsh look and shoved away from my chest and off her bed. I instantly felt the emptiness in my arms now that she wasn't there.

"Where are you going?" I asked sadly as she moved towards her closet.

"Well, if you're not going to move, then you leave me no choice. Because I'm pretty sure the only reason you're still there is because I was, if my may sound so egotistical. So, if you're not going to get up, then I'm going to get on with my day. But I'm warning you, if you don't get up soon, then my dad is going to see you. And that would be bad for the both of us." She told me all of this while she was changing in the bathroom. When she came out, she had changed out of my Dead Hand t-shirt and pajama pants and into the Degrassi uniform. I pouted a bit, now that she had put on make up and was now dressed.

Now, please get up. I beg of you," she pleaded with wide eyes. I smirked a bit at her pleading and her brow furrowed.

"Okay. Okay, I will. Help me up?" I asked innocently. She regarded me with sharp eyes, but leaned over to grab my hand in order to help me up. But I wasn't going to have any of that. Once she grasped my hand, I pulled her down, and she landed on top of me. I craned my neck and kissed her lightly on the lips. To be perfectly honest, I was surprised when she returned my efforts.

"I told you I wasn't going to leave this bed. Ever again. So, where were you going exactly?" She smiled and leaned her head into the crook of my neck before resting her chin on mine.

"I think I'm going to stay here with you," she sighed happily.

You say go, it isn't worth it

And I say no, it isn't perfect

So I stay and still

I'm never gonna leave this bed


	12. I'm Still Breathing

**Hello! I would just like to say that Eli and Clare did NOT have sex in the last chapter. I mean, you can take it however you want, but I wasn't alluding to them 'doing the deed'. I don't know if anyone thought that, I just wanted to put that out there. Just think of it like in Twilight when Edward stayed over at Bella's at night.**

**Anywhoo, my first Alli story! Woot**

Chapter song is I'm still Breathing by Katy Perry

Alli's POV

I sat on my bed, contemplating everything that had gone wrong over the past few weeks. I hung my head and wiped the few stray tears that still had the nerve to fall down my cheeks. Everything that I had wanted to work out had gone crazy! Most of all centered around Drew. And Bianca. If only she hadn't sunk her nasty claws into my boyfriend. Then maybe everything….everything would have been fine. But no; she had to go after Drew. But as I thought about it a little bit more, I discovered that maybe it was really Drew's fault. I mean, even though Bianca told him to meet her in the boiler room, didn't mean that he had to. Why couldn't he have just been happy with me? I mean, I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with, but is it too much to ask for just one guy who'd be happy with just me as I am? I thought he didn't care. I thought he liked me. I won't say that I thought he loved me, because he never said it. But I thought I had some sense of affection from him. Obviously he had better luck in the sack with _her_. I had vied for his attention for all that time, just to see that relationship, and my life for that matter, go up in flames. Why couldn't I just be like Clare? She has Eli's unwavering affection. Yeah so he has baggage in the form of a dead ex, but that's still better than…than _this_. Maybe this is just all for the better, closing this chapter of my life. I mean, I'm still breathing, right? Wait, let me check. Yup, still breathing. I could move past this. I would.

Maybe I was too pale  
Maybe I was too fat  
Maybe you had better  
Better luck in the sack  
No formal education  
And I swore way too much  
But I swear  
You didn't care  
'Cause we were in love


	13. Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not

**An: Aha! After a short non-Eclare break, they're baaackk! This one is a bit fluffier than my others. If y'all want some darker chapters, then just PM me or REVIEW.**

**Chapter song is Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not by Thompson Square**

Clare's POV

Eli and I were sitting on the hood of his hearse, just talking. We had known each other for a few weeks now, and already he was one of the best people I had ever known. He just _got_ me like no one else really did. We could talk about anything really, and I never had to feel awkward, or like I was going to say something wrong. And I hated that I could feel myself starting to like him. It wasn't that I was particularly adverse to dating him, in fact, it was quite the opposite. But I was nervous that if he found out that I liked him, then he'd stop being my friend. But, for some reason, I felt as if he knew that I liked him a lot. He just wasn't doing anything about it, and this frustrated me a little. Not with him as much as myself. I snapped out of my thoughts when he waved his hand in front of my face.

"Hello? Clare, are you there?" he asked, smiling. I bobbed my head and smiled, albeit a bit weak.

"Yeah. Sorry, I just zoned out there. What were you saying again?" He shook his head at me and sighed.

"Nothing important," he waved it off. My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I reached to pull it out. It was my mom, telling me for the tenth time today that we were all going to have a 'nice sit down dinner', and that I had to be home quickly. I groaned and laid my head on Eli's shoulder, subtly breathing in his slightly smoky, minty scent. He grabbed my hand and played with my purity ring. We sat there for a few minutes, exchanging a few words, but we were otherwise silent. Suddenly, the same thoughts I had been thinking earlier came back to me. Why were we here, in this static friendship, when we could be more? Yes, he said he needed time to get over Julia's death. But, it looked as if he had. All of a sudden I lifted my head and looked him dead in the eyes.

"Are you gonna' kiss me or not?" I asked bravely. His eyes popped open, and he opened his mouth as if to say something. But I kept breaking down my mental filter bit by gigantic bit. "Because, I know that you know that I like you a lot. Or, at least I think you do. But I keep feeling as if we're in this static relationship that's going nowhere, even though I think it could-" I was going to continue, but he interrupted my small rant by pressing his warm, soft lips against my own. My phone went off again, but I ignored it and continued kissing him.

"Does that answer you're question?" he asked when we pulled apart. I nodded my head, feeling as if I was unable to speak. That was the best kiss of my entire life.

Until, of course, the longer kiss that followed that first perfect one.

Are you gonna kiss me or not?  
Are we gonna do this or what?  
I think you know I like you a lot  
But you're 'bout to miss your shot  
Are you gonna kiss me or not?


	14. Fucking Perfect

**AN: 'Ello! I'm super excited by the reviews. They really inpsire me and make me want to continue on with this story. So with that being said, I'm super happy! (:**

**Chapter song is Fucking Perfect by P!nk (Pink)**

Eli's POV

I walked down the dull Degrassi hallways, struggling with the button on the sleeve of my distressed leather jacket. I felt myself cringe every time someone in the new uniforms passed by. I wasn't really cringing because they were wearing it, I was because I wore the same thing. I had to wear red polo shirts and khaki pants instead of my black shirts and skinny jeans. They only thing that made me still want to go was Clare. And speak of the little devil, there she was, standing at her locker and pulling out her English notebook. I snuck up behind her and squeezed her waist and kissed her under her ear from behind, making her jump. She turned quickly, eyes wide, only to find that it was me. She shot me a half smile, and I frowned. Normally, I'd get something a bit warmer.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked, just a bit worried. I ran through the conversation we had last night, and I didn't think I had said anything to make her mad at me. She nodded, but her eyes certainly weren't bright and happy like they usually were.

"Yeah, I'm perfect," she responded half-heartedly. I shook my head at her as she moved past me to go to class. I caught up to her and grabbed a hold of her hand.

"No, you're acting like something's wrong. What is it?" She sighed, and sat down in her seat behind me.

"Darcy's back," she said. I racked my memory, trying to remember who Darcy was. I don't think I've ever heard of anyone named Darcy. "She's my older sister who moved to Kenya a couple of years ago," she informed me when she saw the confused look on my face. This baffled me even more. Being an only child, I had always thought that people would be happy that their sibling was coming back home.

"So…why is this a bad thing." Ms. Dawes came in, and Clare didn't answer for a minute.

"I've always been Darcy's shadow; little baby Edwards. No one ever saw me, they only saw her. And now that she's back, I'm just going to fall back into that role again. She was the perfect one, the pretty one: the golden apple of my parent's eyes. She's perfect, and I'm just not. Not when she's around." Oh, that explains it then. I tried to say something to her, but Dawes came over and shushed us, threatening us with detention. It felt like forever, but eventually the bell rang. And, instead of going out of class together like we normally did, Clare jumped up and ran off without me. I found her at her locker, again, a few tears slipping out of her eyes. I wrapped my arms around her waist, but this time she knew it was me. She turned around and wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her head in my shoulder. No PDA was allowed during school hours, but I didn't - couldn't - give a damn. I hugged her tighter and put my lips to her ear.

"Don't ever say you're not perfect. Please don't. You're fucking perfect to me. And no one is going to change that," I whispered fervently to her. Even though I knew tears were leaking out onto my jacket, I could have sworn that she smiled, faintly, against me.

Pretty, pretty please  
If you ever, ever feel  
Like your nothing  
You're fuckin' perfect to me


	15. We'll Be a Dream

**An: Okay, so I am so so so excited about all of the feedback from my last chapter. Umm, wow I really don't know what to say I'm just that happy. I am eternally grateful to everyone who has read and stuck with this story. So as always, review. And if they're is a song that you want me to do or a specific character you want to see, just tell me and I shall try to make it happen. **

**Chapter song is We'll Be a Dream by We the Kings featuring Demi Lovato**

Clare's POV

It was twelve thirty at night, and I was still on the phone. In theory, I should have been in bed about two hours ago, seeing as how tomorrow I had three tests. But it was so hard to try and convince myself to sleep when I was on the phone with Eli. Neither of us could actually remember what we were laughing about, but our mutual laughing fit had been going on for what seemed like hours. And if not laughing, I knew that this stupid, happy grin had been pasted to my face since his name flashed across my phone's screen.

"Jesus, Clare. I don't think I've laughed this much since that night we just drove around town like we were crazy," he said once we both seemed to gain enough control of ourselves. I remembered that night in vivid detail. I gone over to his house because my parents were fighting again, and I couldn't deal with it anymore, and we sat on his front porch for a while, just talking, until he suggested that we just go for a drive around town. At first, I thought that the idea was just a little too crazy. But it had turned into one of the best nights of my entire life.

"Yeah. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget that. I felt like we were in control of the world," I said. He didn't say anything afterwards, so I thought that maybe the hour was finally catching up to us.

"So, are you up for more craziness?" he asked quickly. Apparently not.

"Eli, it's almost one in the morning," I gasped, exasperated. But in reality, I was excited. We had been going out for a while now, and never had he asked me to do something this crazy.

"What? Afraid of the dark, Edwards?" he teased. I laughed.

"No," I replied cautiously. "I feel perfectly safe and sound when the lights go out when you're around." Not just literally either. My parents fighting, that was my personal light starting to flicker, threatening to go out. And he was always there, ready to help in anyway he could.

"Clare, do you ever feel as if all of this is a dream?" he asked suddenly. I had never really thought of it that way, but I guess he's right. Granted, he wasn't the kind of guy they put in books and in movies that most girls dream about, but that's what made it so surreal. The people in those books and movies, they were to unattainable, flawless sometimes.

"Yeah, I do. I just hope I never wake up if we're a dream," I said rashly. But I didn't have to worry about saying the wrong thing anymore. I never really had to around him.

"I don't either," he promised. And in that moment, I realized that I wanted to be a dream, just as long as Eli was right there beside me. Because, he was really all I had to hang onto, and I never wanted to let go.

When the lights go out, we'll be safe and sound  
We'll take control of the world  
Like it's all we have to hold on to  
And we'll be a dream


	16. Remembering Sunday

**AN: Hey, this is going to be one of the weirdest chapters I've ever done. I'm not that much of a Julia-plot writer, just because I'm not familiar with her other than that I know she's Eli's dead ex. So with that being said, this may end up being one of my longest chapters, because I'm going to switch POVS. Also, this chapter is dedicated to NorwegeanIcebear, for her love of Julia plots.  
**

**Chapter song is Remembering Sunday by All Time Low**

Julia's POV

I awoke with a start and sat up in my bed, pulling my covers tighter to my chest. I knew it was some nightmare that made me wake up, but it was fading so quickly that I couldn't be sure what it was even about anymore. I ran a hand through my hair, surprised by the knots. Not that my hair was perfect in the morning or anything like that, but normally it was relatively tangle free. Then I looked over and saw Eli lying beside me, his bare chest lit by the early morning sun. All of the events from last night came rushing back to me like a tidal wave, and a fierce blush overtook my cheeks. My dad and step-mom were out of town, so I had asked Eli's parents if he could stay with me. They might not have said yes, but they trusted us. Well, they trusted me at least. They certainly wouldn't trust me nearly as much as they had if they would've been here last night. We had raided the liquor cabinet and made a dent in the alcohol. And then…well I'm not going to go into any messy details. Let's just say that one thing led to the most earth-shattering night of my life. I leaned over and brushed his hair away from his face and smiled. When he felt my fingertips brush his forehead, his eyes opened and he gave me an easy smile. He sat up beside me and kissed my bare shoulder.

"Hey, beautiful," he said as he made his way across my shoulder and traced up my spine. Normally, I liked hearing his voice. But today, probably because of all the drinking I had done last night, every noise sounded like it was attached to an amplifier and that amp was cranked all the way up.

"Shh," I hissed. "Why are you yelling? Use you're inside voice." I pressed my hands to my ears and pulled away, even though the throbbing in my head told me otherwise. He let out a quiet laugh.

"Hung-over, huh?" he teased. "Now you know why I kept telling you to take it easy with the Bacardi." I pushed at him until he moved and got up, taking the cover with me.

"So, umm, do you want something to eat? I can make scrambled eggs or something," I offered. He shook his head and pulled his black t-shirt back over head.

"I wish I could, but no." I frowned as he started pulling on his skinny jeans.

"Why?" I asked, a hint of belligerence in my voice. He sighed and slid into his Converse. He shot me a smile after he was done dressing.

"I have to go to the library to finish that English paper on Wuthering Heights if you expect me to keep up with you in honors English," he explained as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"But if you stay with me today, then ah, maybe there'll be a repeat of last night," I whispered as I ran my hands through his hair.

"That does sound inviting," he agreed as he placed a kiss to my lips. "And I wish I could have gotten a picture of that devilish grin as you led me upstairs last night." I blushed, and more pieces of last night came back. "But I have to go." I frowned, and slipped out of his hold.

"But it's going to rain," I pled feebly even though I knew it wouldn't change anything. We were downstairs by now and we stood in front of the door.

"I love you," he whispered into my ear. I shook my head.

"You know I don't really believe in love, right?" He shook his head.

"One day I'm going to call you on that bluff. It's my goal," he joked just as he opened the door and walked out. I watched from the window as he started the car up, feeling as if today would be the change of everything. When I made my way back to my room so I could take a shower and change into something decent, I noticed that my phone was buzzing on my nightstand. It was a text from Eli.

_If you want to get away from your step-mom once she and you dad come home, just text me and I'll come pick you up. I love you._ I smiled and put my phone back down. Today was going to be a long day.

Eli's POV

Julia hadn't sent me any messages, I assumed she was fine with her step-mom being there. But I still decided to go over there just to check. As I drove, the steady rain picked up, and I had to keep the windshield wipers going at full speed all they way there. The house looked different when I stopped. The white sheer curtains weren't hanging in the front room window, and Julia's Asking Alexandria poster wasn't plastered on her bedroom mirror. And, her parent's car wasn't in the driveway. She said they would be home by two, and it was five. I ducked my head under the hood of my jacket and went to knock on the door.

"Won't do you any good if you're looking for her," her neighbor, Ms. Hannigan, called over the rain.

"What do you mean?" I asked slowly. She shook her head in disbelief.

"Julia and her parents moved away today. They certainly picked the worst way to do it to. Funny how it rained all day, isn't it. I thought her dad might call it off, but they got everything in the truck and left." She paused, letting me take everything in. "What, didn't she tell you?" she asked kindly when she saw the crestfallen look on my face.

"Do…Do you know where they moved?" I choked out. She nodded.

"Oh yes! Right across town, a little closer downtown. On Appleton, I think. The apartment complex right there." I thanked her and ran back to Morty. I started the engine up and tried to remember where Appleton. I would just call her, but this had to be done in person.

Julia's POV

I put the last box of my stuff over by the closet and huffed. I walked out to the living room and all but pushed past my step-mom.

"Where do you think you're going, Julia? We have to unpack." I rolled my eyes and went to the front door.

"I'm going for a ride, if you really have to know," I hissed through clenched teeth.

"Are you crazy?" she screeched. "It's raining, we're in a new part of town, and we're not unpacked." I crossed my arms across my chest and leveled her with a cool glare.

"I really just want to get away from you." And with that, I walked out and shut the door with a bang.

Eli's POV

I was on Appleton when I saw Juliet riding her bike in the rain. When she saw me, she stopped and hung her head. I pulled over and got out, not caring that the rain soaked through my jacket.

"What the fuck, Julia?" I yelled over the rain. She stumbled towards me and tried to grab my hands, but I pulled them away.

"I wanted to tell you, I really did," she cried. "I just didn't know how you would take it."

"I would have taken it a hell of a lot better if you would have told me." She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms.

"I can't believe you're mad at me because I didn't know how to handle something," she huffed angrily.

"I'm just curious as to why my girlfriend can't tell me that she's moving all the way across town!" I yelled.

"You know what, maybe this is what we needed. A reason to break up. And this seems like a hell of a good one. Bye, Eli." And with that, she rode off on her bike.

Julia's POV

Now I'm at home in the clouds, trying to erase my memories of him. They only made me wish we hadn't had that stupid argument. But now he can get on with his life, and I can find some comfort in that.

The neighbors said she moved away  
Funny how it rained all day  
I didn't think much of it then  
But it's starting to all make sense  
Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds  
Are following me in my desperate endeavor  
To find my whoever, wherever she may be

**Quick AN: Longest chapter, as I predicted. Woot!**


	17. Check Yes Juliet

**An: 'Ello! So, I hope that everyone enjoyed my Julia chapter. I haven't heard anything to the contrary, so I gues that it was recived well. Anyway, Clare is back in this one for all of you Eclare lovers. And for those of you who enjoyed 'rebellious Clare' in Love Lockdown part 1 & 2, then this for you.**

**Chapter song is Check Yes Juliet by We The Kings**

Eli's POV

I stood outside Clare's window, holding a handful of pebbles in my hand. I didn't really want to use them, for fear of breaking her window, but if she didn't answer her phone, I wasn't going to have a choice. I waited for another minute, giving her more time to check her text messages. When she didn't reply, I threw one of my pebbles, and it hit exactly where I wanted it. She opened the window and peered out into the darkness, glaring when she saw me.

"Eli! What are you doing here? It's raining, it's late, and you're throwing things at my house! What's wrong with you?" she asked quietly. I shrugged.

"You keep saying how you want to get away, so let's go. Are you with me?" She shook her head, her auburn curls flying.

"No! You are insane. Go away," she huffed. She moved to turn away, but turned back to face me. "And stop tossing rocks at my window. You're going to break it." I leaned against the hood of my hearse and threw one rock up in the air, catching it before it could hit the rain covered pavement.

"Nope. I'm just going to stay here until you come outside." She rolled her eyes and closed her window again. I threw another rock, a little harder this time. It hit, and I could hear the glass break.

"Shit," I muttered. She opened her window and threw it back at me. Luckily, it hit my shoulder and not the hood of my car. She opened her window and swung her legs outside so she was sitting on the windowsill. "Why won't you come outside?" I asked.

"My parents don't like you, you know that. And if I disappeared in the middle of the night, they'd blame you. And they're already fighting as it is. I don't think I need to give them any more reasons to," she explained.

"C'mon, baby. Let's just run. You're parents don't have to come between us. Really, you know you're parents are just dying to pull us apart if you give them a chance," I pleaded. "It can just be the two of us. No one else has to know if you sneak out and don't tell them goodbye." She looked at me and smiled.

"Just let me get dressed," she said, flashing me a quick smile. I got into my car, quietly starting the engine. She re-appeared back at her window, and she looked stunning. The first thing I saw were her legs as she swung them out of her window. They were covered in sheer black tights, and a denim skirt more akin to a belt. Her torso was covered in a blue v-neck top that was mostly covered by a black jacket with red lettering. She agilely climbed out of her window and clambered down the slope of her roof before landing a few feet away. I had stepped away from Morty, so we both linked hands and walked to where I had parked. It was at that moment when her parents came outside.

"CLARE EDWARDS! Where are you going with that…_BOY?" _her mother screeched. She ignored them and opened the passenger door and climbed in as I got in the driver seat. Yep, best 'break-out' plan ever.

Run baby run  
Don't ever look back  
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance  
Don't sell your heart, don't say we're not meant to be  
Run baby run, forever will be  
You and me 


	18. Wish You Were Here

**An: Time Jump! Eli has graduated from high school and is in college. Clare is still stuck at Degrassi. Aww, sad face. **

**Chapter song is Wish You Were Here by Hey Monday**

Clare's POV

I slumped forward on my desk, letting my forehead hit my laptop with a muted thud. I was writing one of my bi-weekly emails. Eli was in college a few hours away, so I couldn't see him every day like I wanted to. And part of me, most of me, knew that he must feel at least a fraction of how I felt. He had asked that I email him at least twice a week; once on Friday, so he could know how my school week had gone, and once on Monday so he knew how my weekend had gone. I worked to pour every ounce of emotion, all of my heart, into them. The best part was that he never acted like my daily routines were mundane and irritating to hear about them, even though I figured that he must feel that way every once and a while. But for the past week or two, I had been faking. I wished that he was here with me. But I didn't want him to feel bad about leaving to go get his English Degree. He didn't want to leave me, but I encouraged him to go by saying that I would join him in a year. So he had left. And now I wrote all of feelings for him in these emails. With that being said, this was my third attempt at a 'happy Clare' note. It was selfish, I know. But how was it possible to be without the most amazing guy I had ever known when I had been with him for two years?

Sometimes I really wanted to put what I really felt in these letters. Those were the ones that always ended up being deleted. I wanted to tell him that I wished he was here and that we were really together. But I knew that me saying that would only make him feel worse. And I wanted to hear his voice so much. Even that was difficult. He spent most of the day in classes, and at night he had to study. Sure, we used Skype sometimes, maybe once or twice a month. And I didn't like only being able to hear him as little as I did. Once, when we were both in school, he had promised that he was always going to be there for me. That he wasn't going anywhere. Now, rashly, I thought that maybe he had sort of broken that promise. But every time that thought would cross my mind, I always chided myself for thinking like that. He still loved me, and I still loved him. We were just in different places.

Oh, how painful the miles in between us were. He always held me in his arms when we fell asleep. No, we didn't have sex, but it was nice anyway to be held in the night by the man that I loved. Now, that only existed in my head when I couldn't go to sleep because my bed was too empty. My phone rang, breaking my obsessive inner monologue. I groaned and looked over, not intending to answer. My heartbeat quickened when I looked at the blue screen. Eli was calling me. I looked at the tiny digital clock on my screen. 11 o'clock. Normally he wouldn't call at this time. His roommate was a huge straight edge who couldn't stand breaking any rules.

"Hello?" I answered breathlessly. I heard him chuckle on the other end.

"What's with the holdup? I thought my call would go unanswered for a second there," he replied jokingly. I ran a hand through my hair and tried to breathe right.

"So, what's up? I feel like we haven't actually talked to each other in forever." He stayed silent for a while, and I was really starting to wonder what the problem was.

"Clare, we need to talk," he said slowly, as if he didn't want to make me mad. My breath, which I had tried so hard to control, hitched. Just like everything else in my life, this too was going to be taken away. He said that he would be their for me, unlike my parents.

"Talk? What do we need to talk about Eli?" I began to tap my fingers nervously on my wooden desk. The silence between lasted what seemed like an eternity, only hearing the faint sounds of his breathing.

"Look, Clare, I just…I feel _horrible _that I'm doing this to you," he said in a rush. I felt tears pricking in the corners of my eyes. But I wasn't going to let him know.

"What are you talking about?" I felt as if I was just a conversation piece, something that just kept the conversation flowing.

"Is it really fair to you that you have a boyfriend that you never get to see? One that you never really get to talk to?" His questions were probably rhetorical, but I felt compelled to answer.

"Yes. It is because I _love_ you. Yes, I wish you were here, and I wish we could still see each other, but I'd rather be apart by a couple of miles than by a breakup. It is _hell_ without you here, Eli. I can't stand sleeping alone, darling. But I would rather it be this than nothing at all. Please, just listen to me," I begged. He didn't say anything for a while, and I was afraid that this would be the final blow. The _coup de grâce_, if you will. I heard his low steady breaths from the other end, and I couldn't figure out what would come next. I braced myself, thinking I would be ready for anything that came next.

"Why haven't you told me this over your emails?" he asked worriedly. I exhaled gratefully. At least I could maybe try and convince him that breaking up would have an adverse affect on both of us.

"Because I didn't want you to worry about me or feel worse then you already did about leaving. I didn't think it was the best idea. I'm sorry." He let out a quick breath.

"Please," he pleaded "don't keep your emotions bottled up like that. Especially from me. Promise me you won't." I nodded and smiled, grateful that this wasn't the end.

"I promise. I wish you were here, Eli. I miss you so much," I whispered quietly.

"I know. I miss you too Clare. But I'll be back soon. I promise." I smiled and we continued talking until his roommate started yelling at him to hang up the phone.

Here's my heart in a postcard, darling  
Just one step from the edge  
Sleep alone and it's so hard, darling  
You're next to me in my head

**P.S. I am again quite concerned with the pitiful ammount of reviews I am getting. So, please, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, hit that bloody review button and type! (: Love You All**


	19. My Girl's ExBoyfriend

**AN: 'Ello! I would like to use this stolen space to once again thank all of my reviewers. Your reviews really mean a lot to me (:**

**Chapter song is My Girl's Ex-Boyfriend by Relient K**

Eli's POV

I slipped my hand into Clare's as we were walking down the halls, hoping that Adam wouldn't pop up again. Last time I had tried to hold her hand in the halls, Adam came up behind us and acted like a teacher saying 'no PDA in the halls'. Scared the shit out of me. She leaned into me, and I kissed the top of her head.

"I have to go to French. Will you be at my locker after class?" she asked expectantly. I rolled my eyes.

"When am I not at your locker after class?" I asked. She shrugged.

"I don't know. I just don't want to expect you to be there," she teased. She knew me better than that. I was always there after classes. Partly because our lockers were near each other, but mostly because I wanted to be there. We parted, but not before I stole a quick kiss.

Pre-Calc dragged on. And on and on and on. I'm okay with math, I just don't need a teacher lecturing on how every single damn problem must have all work shown. Even ones that don't require any work. Most of the time I just zoned out, only bothering to pay attention when she assigned something. When the bell finally rang, I already had my books in my bag so I was able to get out of that stifling classroom and see my amazing girlfriend. When I got to my locker, I saw Clare talking to some guy that I had seen before, but I couldn't really remember his name. _KC_, I thought. He was the school all-star athlete; football, basketball, the works. I wasn't really jealous that they were talking. I mean, A, I'm not really the jealous type and, B, Clare didn't really look like she was enjoying the conversation.

"You do know that she's talking to her ex-boyfriend, right Eli?" a voice asked me. It was just Alli, coming up behind me.

"What?" I asked, just the slightest bit confused. Saint-Clare had gone out with the athlete who left his pregnant girlfriend? Must have missed that memo. Apparently Alli was confused as well.

"What? Did she not tell you? Yeah, they went out for a bit. And, you could see that he kind of had his doubt about it, but they were cute. I mean they were a good fit and all. It was before he started hanging out with Fitz and that skank Bianca, because obviously she wouldn't have dated him then if he acted like he did now. But he broke up with her for Jenna. It was really sad, because he really had the world and he just wanted more." Wow, never knew that. Well, I guess we both know each other's painful ex stories now. I went to my locker, tuning out their conversation in an effort to give Clare her space. When he left and she opened her locker with a metallic clang, I figured that it was safe to talk.

"So, I didn't know that you and KC went out before," I said casually. She peeked out at me from under her lashes and tugged anxiously on one of her curls.

"Oh, yeah. Um, that was nothing. He was just came to tell me that he wanted me back and that everything was a mistake and that he missed me. But I told him that I had you now," she said. Hey, at least she ended with a smile.

"I don't know why you put up with a mess like me," I joked as I linked arms with her. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed my jaw.

"It's because I love you. And you're all I need." I smirked.

"Well, I certainly feel sorry for him. But I do owe the guy." She looked confused and took a step back. "Well think of it this way; if it wasn't for his stupid mistake, then I would still be searching for the most amazing girlfriend. And if he hadn't of been so stupid then he'd be as happy as me. Because I have you," I explained.

"Hmm, I guess you're right." We both passed him then, and I guess the same idea popped into our heads.

"Thanks KC!" we yelled simultaneously.

He's a guy that you should feel sorry for  
He had the world but he thought that he wanted more  
I owe it all to the mistake he made back then  
I owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend


	20. I Love You

**An: I was thinking about putting a not so funny April fools joke about how this would be my last chapter, but then I thought better of it. Anywho, I hope everyone had a FANTASTIC April Fools and got to enact many succesful pranks. **

**Chapter song is I Love You by Avril Lavigne**

Clare's POV

I looked over at Eli as we sat on the bench across from the school. Apparently he caught me.

"What are you looking at? I mean, I know I'm absolutely the most amazing thing ever, but you don't have to stare," he teased. I blushed and ducked my head. I leaned against his shoulder.

"I just love you. That's all," I said, letting nonchalance color my voice. He leaned away so he could see me as he cocked an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah, you sound really convincing," he quipped. I leaned away and hit him with the book in my lap.

"Way to ruin the moment, Eli. But I do love you." Hey, at least I sounded a bit more sincere that time. We sat there for a little while longer, just talking about normal things like classes and teachers and other students, just like we would any other day.

"Why do you love me, Clare? I mean, I've told you why I do, but you've never told me," he asked unexpectedly. I knew why I loved him, but I didn't want to admit it out loud. I mean, I would just sound sappy and corny and over done. I shook my head, and a few of my curls slipped out of the clip that held them back. "C'mon. I won't laugh, even if it is hideously mushy." I raised an eyebrow, regarding him closely.

"Promise you won't laugh?" I asked seriously. He made a show of zipping his lips and throwing the 'key' behind him. I wasn't sure if that really counted, but I figured it was going to be the closest thing to a promise. I took a deep breath before launching into the most gooey explanation of love in the history of forever.

"I like the way you dress. That's what sets you apart. No one else dresses like you here. I like the way you always have a smart-ass attitude in English. And you always try to calm me down when I start to get confusing and complicated. But none of these are the reasons that I love you." He was following me up until that point, where he shot me a funny look.

"No. The reason that I love you is because you're, well, you. Nobody ever changes that, not even me. And, you're so strong that you help me deal with my parent's crap and your own at the same time. Whereas I can barely deal with my own life," I looked up from my wringing hands in my lap to his face, and I shot him a small smile. "That's why I love you." Without a word or other kind of hesitation, he pressed his lips to mine, letting them linger.

"I love you too. And see, I told you I wouldn't laugh. I'll just kiss you again, if you don't mind," he said. I couldn't tell if he was joking or whether he was being serious. But, I did take him up on the second kiss, right as the bell rang.

You're so beautiful  
But that's not why I love you  
And I'm not sure you know  
That the reason I love you is you  
Being you  
Just you  
Yeah the reason I love you is all that we've been through  
And that's why I love you


	21. Just the Way You Are

**AN: Ello! I hope that everyone enjoyed the last chapter. Thank you to all who reviewed. This chapter is dedicated to Goldsworthyalltheway who suggested a long time ago in a review that I write a chapter to this song, and I apologize that it took me this long to get around to it.**

**Chapter song is Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars**

Eli's POV

Her eyes. _Clare's _eyes, were the most beautiful things I had ever seen in a while. They put the stars to shame with their light. She didn't have to do anything to her hair to make it perfect, it fell just the way it should without her trying. But she still tried to fix it all the time. But even though I told her she was beautiful every single day, she still felt as if there was something to change. She always argued that without makeup that she would look like an alien, but she really didn't. It's sad to think that she couldn't see what I saw every day. She didn't believe me when I complimented her, and it disappointed me a bit. I walked in the bathroom and saw her putting on makeup and gently lowered the mascara brush away from her face.

"Eli, what are you doing?" she huffed as she reached for something else.

"Clare, you really don't need anything. You're perfectly amazing just like you are when you wake up," I explained. She rolled her eyes and reached around me for her eyeliner. I realized what she was doing and held it just out of her reach.

"Eli, I'm serious. I need that," she pleaded.

"For what exactly?" I asked seriously. "You look amazing as you are. I personally think you'd look better without makeup on at all." She started laughing, probably because she thought I was being absurd. Her eyes widened and she clapped a hand over her mouth.

"I hate my laugh. God, it's hideous," she muttered under her breath. I pulled on her wrist gently until she set it down on the bathroom counter.

"I think it's sexy," I breathed as I leaned down to kiss her. I wanted to be able to kiss her lips every second of every day, but I knew that she wouldn't let me. She shook her head weakly. "Why don't you believe me when I compliment you?" I asked seriously. She regarded me with wide blue eyes, as if she hadn't expected the question.

"Because I think that you're blinded by love. I mean, no one else but you thinks it, so I think that you're saying it because it's expected for a boyfriend to compliment his girlfriend," she explained in a rush. Really? How could she think that I only said that because she was my girlfriend. And, did she honestly think that I was the only one who thought that she was beautiful?

"Clare, I'm almost thoroughly convinced that the whole world comes to a stop when you smile." She rolled her eyes again but I kept talking. "I mean, if I even tried to think about all of the guys that stop in their tracks when you walk by, I'd drive myself insane. You're amazing." She smiled and leaned into me.

"So, do you think I look okay?" she joked. Now, it was _my_ turn to roll my eyes.

"What do you think I'm going to say?" I was half serious, half kidding. She laughed and kissed me.

"I guess that's a yes," she joked when she pulled away. I'd never ask for a better girl, so mine better not change.

When I see your face  
There's not a thing that I would change  
Cause you're amazing  
Just the way you are  
And when you smile,  
The whole world stops and stares for awhile  
Cause girl you're amazing  
Just the way you are 


	22. Everytime We Touch

**An: Hey look! Twice in one day!**

**Chapter song is Everytime We Touch by Cascada**

Clare's POV

"Clare, your father and I have to go see the lawyer tonight. But we'll be back later. Remember, do your homework, eat something for dinner, and don't stay on that chat thing for too long," my mom reminded me as she slipped on her blue blazer. I sighed and continued typing away.

"Mom, I actually have to stay on chat for a little longer tonight," I reminded her for what felt like the fifth time. "I'm working on that English project with Eli, and we have to finish it tonight." She looked at me as she slipped a bracelet on.

"Eli? Oh, he's that friend that you brought over to dinner one night, right? Oh, well just as long as the two of you just stay English partners then we're fine. If there's one thing that your father and I agree on, it's that he's no kind of boy for you." My jaw dropped and I let out a sharp breath.

"Well mom, you're kind of late on that one. Eli and I have been going out for a while now. In fact, we were going out when I invited him to dinner." She gave me a shell-shocked look as she gripped the door handle.

"Oh no you're not. We're going to have to talk about this later." And with that, she left, shutting the door abruptly behind her. I sighed and looked back at the computer screen. He was still waiting for me to say something about his paper.

_Come on over,_ I typed. _My mom just left, and she and my dad will be at the lawyer's office until later._ I wasn't entirely sure what he was going to say. He had been over to my house before, but it was always under the pretense that we were going to 'study' in my room.

_I'll be right over_, he replied after a few minutes. My heartbeat quickened and butterflies fluttered in my stomach. About twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door. When I opened it, he stepped inside and I threw my arms around his neck.

"So, what's with the impromptu invite over?" he asked when I pulled away. I bit my lip. I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted to tell him what my mother had said.

"I just really wanted to see you. And…I have to tell you something." I almost whispered the last part, but I knew he heard me.

"What? What's wrong, Clare?" He ran his hand over my shoulder, down my arm, until he circled his hand around my wrist.

"My mom and dad…apparently they _forgot_ that you're my boyfriend. Of course, the one thing that they're actually able to agree on is that they both think that I shouldn't be with you!" I started off with a semblance of sanity, but when I finished I was nearly hysterical. He wrapped his arms around me and we both sat down on the couch.

"Clare, it's going to be okay. Even though I wanted them to like me because I like you, it's irrelevant. As long as you still want me to be yours, then I'm here," he said as he hugged me. I remember when this was a completely different scene; he had just told me about his hording and _I _was comforting _him_. Now it was the other way around. Without another thought, I leaned in and kissed him. Every single time we kissed, I felt as if I could fly. I raised my hands and ran them through is dark hair. I felt closer to Heaven than I ever had before. As his hands ran up and down my sides, I wondered vaguely if he could hear my heart beating fast. I never wanted to stop kissing him, I just wanted this moment to stretch on forever. And it did. Until my parents came in and saw us. Now, it was bad enough that they already didn't like Eli. We probably made it worse though by making out on the couch, with him on top of me and my leg hooked around his waist.

"Clare! Get that boy out of here. And don't see him again. I'm going to have to call Ms. Dawes tomorrow and ask her to give you a different partner!" I wasn't sure which of my parents said what. It just came across as bits and pieces. Eli got up and looked down at me, a twinge of regret in his eyes and on his face.

"No," I said clearly as I sat up. I wasn't going to let them ruin the best relationship I had just because of their problems.

"Excuse me?" my mother asked as she and my dad looked at me with hard eyes.

"The two of you are not going to make me leave him. He makes _breathing_ easier. How do you think I've handled the two of you getting a divorce? He's always there to listen to me. He's not going anywhere. I want him in my life because I like him and frankly because he's the best person I know." They both stood there, not saying a word. I grabbed Eli's hand and shoved past my parents, going out into the night. I wasn't sure if they were ever going to get past tonight, but the look on Eli's face made me proud that I had finally told them what I thought.

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling  
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly  
Can't you feel my heart beat fast?  
I want this to last  
I need you by my side


	23. Stronger

**AN: 'Ello my lovelies. I apologize for not updating sooner. I wish I had an excuse that would really make sense, but I don't. And I apologize for this chapter being so short after my absence. **

**Chapter note: This is pretty much AU. If you really wish that Eli had been Clare's Knight in shining armor after the KC thing, this is for you.**

**Chapter song is Stronger by Sara Evans**

Clare's POV

I sat on one of the stools in my kitchen, staring at the screen. The same screen that once had a picture of me and…KC. It had been a week since he broke up with me for her, and I couldn't figure out why it still hurt. I had woken up each morning since that day, his words still causing my heart to sting from them. But I had noticed that each day the pain was fading a bit. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed weakly. I was getting stronger. I could put a smile on my face, and I could get out of bed and brush my teeth. I sat there for a minute, still unsure of what to do with myself. I opened an Internet tab and opened a radio station's website and began to listen to what they were playing. It was the song that he and I had listened to a lot. A sat there and listened for a little, getting sadder as the song progressed. What was I doing? I thought to myself. I closed the window with a little too much relish. I decided to shut the entire machine off while I was at it. I'm getting a little bit stronger. I walked outside, and let the crisp air hit my face. It felt good, and I started to walk down the road to the park. When I got there, I saw KC and Jenna exiting the park. Right then and there, I decided that I was done. I was done letting my memory of him drag my heart around, and that anything would change. Because it wouldn't. I was done hoping that he would come back; it wasn't going to happen. Of course, my feelings wouldn't change overnight, but they were going to change. It was during my epiphany that I tripped over a pair of stretched out legs. Luckily, I didn't fall flat on my face, I just stumbled a little. I looked up to apologize, and I found myself smiling a little. The owner of the black skinny jean-clad legs was a guy who, even though I had never seen him before, left me a little bit breathless. He had green eyes, semi-pale skin and long dark brown hair. He gave me a bemused look and moved to the other end of the bench he was sitting on.

"You look a little frazzled there. Why don't you sit down?" he asked as he gestured to the now empty seat beside him.

"I'm sorry about that," I apologized as I sat down. "I was lost in thought." He held out his hand, and I took it.

"I'm Eli," he offered helpfully.

"Clare." He smiled at me, then began to take a closer look at me. I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and a faint pink tinged my cheeks.

"You have pretty eyes," he complimented me. I smiled and thanked him. We looked at each other for a moment or two more before I looked down at my watch.

"I have to go. But I'll see you around?" I asked hopefully. He smirked.

"Yeah, I guess you will." I got up and left, sincerely hoping that he meant what he said. I was definitely stronger now.

I know my heart will never be the same  
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay  
Even on my weakest days  
I get a little bit stronger


	24. Dressed Up to Undress

**An: 'Ello again my lovelies! I'm just going to put a warning in here for those who don't like OOC (especially OOC Clare) this is a different Clare than is portrayed on the show. It's fanfiction for a reason. So please, enjoy! c: Oh, and Clare's dress will be on my profile shortly.**

**Chapter song is Dressed Up to Undress by Breathe Carolina**

Eli's POV

I pulled up in front of Clare's house and took a deep breath before stepping out of the car. Tonight was our senior prom. Wait, _my_ senior prom, because she was still a junior. I didn't even have to knock when I got to the door. Alli opened it and gave me what looked like a forced smile. Yeah, even though we had been going out for a while, Alli still didn't really like me that much.

"Oh hey, Eli," she said apathetically. "Clare will be down in a minute." And with that, she closed the door and left me standing on the steps. Well that was nice. Let's just hope that the rest of my night won't go that way. From inside I heard Clare and Alli talking. They were quite loud, seeing as how I was standing a few feet away from the door and they weren't near it.

"Alli, where's Eli? He said he'd be here by at the very least six," I heard Clare say as she apparently finished getting ready.

"Oh he's outside on the front steps." I could almost imagine the scene, and I hoped it was as funny as I was imagining it was.

"Why is he still outside?" she asked slowly. I could almost see Alli shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly.

"I don't know, because I closed the door after I told him you'd be down in a minute?" she replied sardonically.

"Alli!" she yelled. "I know you don't like him that much but you couldn't even let him inside?" And with that, she opened the door and smiled at me. I smiled back immediately, and as my eyes moved down her body my mouth dropped a bit. She had on a bright green dress, a kind of green that only looked good on a few people (like her, for example). It was strapless and hugged her at the top before flowing into a long skirt that fell to the floor. She noticed my ogling and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and blushed.

"So what do you think?" she asked self consciously. I smiled at her and kissed her lightly.

"I think you're perfect," I replied honestly. She smiled and then we both got in Morty so we could go.

A few hours later, we were dancing with everyone else. It was kind of awkward, because neither of us really knew what to talk about or what to do. She listened to everything I said and everyone else, but I was all eyes. Just drinking her in. The night stretched on, and it seemed like we kept getting closer and closer to each other, just wanting to be as close as humanly possible.

"Why did you get dressed up tonight?" I asked as we walked away from the dancing crowd. She gave me a confused look.

"What do you mean? It's prom. Who doesn't get dressed up?" she asked seriously. I smirked and pushed her gently to the wall.

"Well, we really don't need expensive clothes to kill these lights," I whispered in her ear. Her breathing hitched and I smiled.

"E-Eli," she stuttered. "there are people here." she had to raise her voice a bit so I could hear her.

"And why are we talking above the crowd," I murmured as I kissed her jaw slowly. "Because I don't need words to feel those lips." And with that I kissed her as passionately as I ever had before. Her breathing was labored when we pulled apart. I took her hand and led her out into the parking lot. When we got there, she kissed me again.

"Eli," she whispered against me. "I don't care about any stipulations I said before. Just…just please." She didn't have to explain what she said.

"Well," I started "it seems to me that we could be dressed up to undress," I joked. She hit me lightly.

"Hey, no more quoting Breathe Carolina for you. Come up with your own stuff," she mocked. I shrugged.

"Oh well. You know you love it." She nodded and kissed me again.

Yep, we were definitely dressed up to undress tonight.

and why you dressing up tonight?

we don't need money to kill the lights.

why you talking over it?

I don't need words to feel those lips.

and I know that you're up for it

everything we want is in our grip it seems to me that we could be

dressed up to undress


	25. Time Bomb

**AN: Who's dissapointed in the fact that no reviews were submitted for my last chapter? This kid right here :/ Anyway, here's a super short chapter.**

**Chapter song is Time Bomb by All Time Low**

Clare's POV

I sighed as I sat on my bed. I had been clearing his stuff out of my closest and computer and out of my heart before I had just given up. It had been a week since he…since he had… I couldn't even make myself say it. He had died, and it was my fault. Yeah, he was getting just a tad bit over-protective, and I felt like we needed just a small break from each other. I didn't know that would kill him! My parents and friends had been telling me this past week that it wasn't my fault. But I knew it was. Alli had been coming over for a few days so she could help me get rid of some of his stuff. But I just couldn't handle it with her there. I told her that maybe it would just be better if I did it by myself, and she had left without argument. Today I had been working on getting rid of the pictures of us on my computer, but that had proved harder than boxing up his shirts and other stuff to give back to his parents. Every time I pulled up a picture of him or of the two of us, a few more tears would escape. We looked so happy, and I had gone and screwed it all up.

"Clare, sweetie do you need anything?" my mom called up to me. I cleared my throat before I answered her because I knew that my voice would be thick with tears.

"No, I'm good for now," I replied. I knew that she knew I was lying, but she didn't press. I took another deep steadying breath before I returned to the picture file I had open. I flipped through some more pictures before I finally decided that I wouldn't -couldn't- delete those photos. It was so unfair. Why did I have to fall in love with someone who was so much more different than me? The whole time it felt like the two of us were dancing on a tight rope; we were so different that we had to dance around each other so we didn't hurt the other. The whole thing was like a time bomb. Once it was set into motion, we were only destined to explode and be destroyed. And we didn't have enough time to diffuse it. I had just broken his heart, and I hadn't had a chance to fix it. The worst part of the whole thing was that I knew that I would never ever be able to let him go.

It was like a time bomb set into motion  
We knew that we were destined to explode  
And if I had to pull you out of the wreckage  
You know I'm never gonna let you go  
We're like a time bomb  
Gonna lose it  
Let's diffuse it  
Baby, we're like a time bomb  
But I need it  
Wouldn't have it any other way


	26. The Only Exception

**An: 'Ello! Again, I must apologize for not updating sooner like I know I should. But I've got some stuff going on. That, and I'm running a bit thin on inspiration. SIDENOTE! Who else was just the slightest bit freaked by Friday's episode of Degrassi? Leave your thoughts and comments on the episode in a PM or review. And, tell me if you want me to continue doing chapters where Eli and Clare still are in love, or more like the show.**

**Chapter song is The Only Exception by Paramore**

Clare's POV

"I love you, Clare," Eli told me as we walked inside The Dot. I stopped and stared at him disbelievingly. I hadn't really heard anyone tell me they _loved_ me in a while. I wasn't even accustomed to the word anymore. My parents had fallen out of love, so obviously they never said it anymore. And, it was the first time Eli had ever said it to me.

"I-I'm sorry, what?" I asked stupidly. It was just so odd thinking that someone like Eli could love me. Yeah, I knew that we both liked each other, but love just seemed a bit far-fetched.

"Clare," he said seriously, "I said that I love you."

He waited for a while, just staring at the expression on my face.

"Okay then," he murmured. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed as he walked away. What had I done now? I just had a hard time believing, not only that Eli loved me, but that love even existed at all. It didn't exist for my parents. And, nothing even close to love had ever happened between me and KC.

As if I even needed another reason to show the glaring differences between the two of us! He had bigger issues from his past to deal with than I did but he still believed in love. And I didn't. I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness, because actually opening up to someone presented too much of a risk. But right that moment, I had a staggering epiphany. Maybe…just maybe, some part of me still believed in love. And it had never left at all, it was just sealed off in some part deep down inside of me. I jumped out of the chair I was sitting in and started off to find Eli.

He was sitting on the bench in the park under the huge pine tree, reading something. I walked slowly because, even though I wanted to tell him everything, I still had to somewhat organize my thoughts. But before I could reach him, he saw me and stood up. But, instead of leaving like I assumed he would, he started walking towards me. "I have something to tell you," we both said at the same time when we reached each other. He nodded at me to go first, so I did.

"You're the only exception, Eli," I said. He looked at me oddly, obviously waiting for me to elaborate on that point. "It just confused me that someone like you could love me. I hadn't been planning on anyone really loving me, or vice versa. I should have told you before, but I was just scared. And the thing is, I'm not scared anymore. You know what I mean?" He smiled and kissed my head.

"I think I'm starting to," he said with a smile.

"And, I know that it's kind of stupid to think that this will last all the way out of high school. But leave me with some kind of proof that this wasn't just some amazing dream," I whispered just before he bent down to kiss me.

I've got a tight grip on reality,  
but I can't let go of what's in front of me here.  
I know you're leaving in the morning  
when you wake up.  
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream.  
You are the only exception.

**P.S.-If you can find the Tangled line, then I'll dedicate the next chapter to you!**


	27. My Heart

**An: So, no one got the Tangled reference right. But, props to Madam Goldsworthy for being the only person to attempt it! Anywho, I like this chapter a lot, even though it doesn't really go along with the song exactly.**

**Chapter song is My Heart by Paramore**

Clare's POV

Eli and I were hanging out in the band room with Adam and one of Eli's friends that I didn't really know that well. Well, I knew of her, if that actually counts for anything. Now, we weren't really in band, but the band director had asked me to rearrange the music storage room and file all of the music properly. Normally I came in here and did it all by myself with no interruptions and did a good amount of work before my dad came to pick me up. But today, Eli was there. Eli and I had only been friends for about a month or two, but I was already starting to like him. Which was wrong, I suppose, because he's currently dating someone else. But he was the only guy I liked; the only one that held my heart. And he didn't even know it.

So, when he came in there and saw me working, he told me that I wasn't going to be doing that today because we were going to hang out, what choice did I really have? Of course, somehow we both ended up in the filing room. Really because Adam and the other girl kept making out and flirting, and it was kind of awkward to stand out there.

"Excuse me," he muttered as he grabbed my waist to move around me. I was happy that I was leaning my head towards the stack in front of me so he couldn't see the sudden blush break across my cheeks. Hopefully he couldn't hear my heart crashing inside my chest. He came back a minute later and we picked up right where we left off. But all of a sudden, the lights shut off and we turned around just in time to see Adam shut and lock the door. He had a huge smile on his face and he held his phone up and started playing some cheesy song they play during sex scenes in movies.** (an: everything up to this point happened to me!)** Eli tried to unlock the door, but it wasn't going to budge.

"What the hell, Adam! Really?" Eli shouted through the door. All I could hear on the other end was Adam shouting, "I'm gonna go tell your girlfriend!" I laughed as Eli gave up on trying to open the door and sat next to me.

"So," I started. "I think we're going to be stuck here for a little while." He chuckled along with me and ran a hand through his hair.

"Yeah. So since it'll be a while, tell me something that I don't know about you," he challenged. My breath caught in my throat. Now would be the perfect time to tell him that I like him. But he was one of my best friends, and I didn't want him finding out that I like him to ruin that. And he had a girlfriend. That he loved. A lot. Oh, what the hell?

"I like you," I whispered in a small voice. But he didn't hear me.

"Hmm? Sorry, you were speaking really quietly, so I didn't quite pick that up." He told me.

"I like you. A lot," I said, a little bit louder, and a little bit clearer. But the lights were still off, so I couldn't see his face. "I didn't want to tell you, because I know you have a girlfriend, and I didn't want to make my liking you make you want to stop being friends with me. And, maybe I was wrong in keeping this from you. So just, stay friends with me at least. Because this is what I need," I finished in a rush. We sat there in silence for a while, just the two of us breathing.

"I like you too," he said after a while. I turned and looked at him, my mouth open. "But I have a girlfriend, and I know I shouldn't like you because of that. But I do. A bit more, I think." And with that he leaned in and kissed me just as his girlfriend opened the door.

I am finding out that maybe I was wrong  
That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone  
Stay with me, this is what I need, please?


	28. I Hate Everything About You

**An: 'Ello lovlies! So I'm terribly sorry that I've been away for so long, but I was running low on inspiration, and Friday's Degrassi did nothing to help :( leave your thoughts on that s'il vous plait. And I lied when I said there would be no more OOC chapters, because this is one!**

**Chapter song is I hate everything about you by Three Days Grace**

Eli's POV

Clare and I were lying awake in my room, recovering from the last hit we had just taken. Every single time we did something like this, it always made me feel like laughing. Partly because weed always seemed to have that kind of affect, but mostly because when Clare and I had started going out, she had been horrified to learn that I smoked when I went out with Julia. But a few days later, she came to me and asked if she could try it. Just to satisfy her curiosity, she said. I had laughed and questioned her sanity. I mean, _Saint Clare_ asking to try drugs? What was the world coming to? But she had actually liked it, and we had been doing it together for a while now. She rolled over and looked at the clock and sighed.

"I have to go, or else my parents are going to wonder where I am. Maybe," she told me in a hoarse whisper. I nodded and kissed her lightly.

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow." She smiled and pulled her hair out of her eyes. She grabbed her jacket and purse and opened the door, but hesitated before she left.

"I love you," she mouthed before closing the door. I returned the sentiment and went into the bathroom to shrug out of my clothes and change before meeting Adam at the bookstore. I looked up at the mirror to make sure my eyes weren't obscenely red and glassy and I saw a picture that Adam had taken of me and Clare. We actually looked happy in this one. Now it was more like we were platonic with each other. I mean, yeah sometimes we ended up keeping my parents up with all of our sighs and screams. And I had a lot of feelings for her. But it was funny how I still didn't miss her. Every time she left, it didn't bother me that something might happen that would prohibit me from seeing her again.

In fact, now that I think about it, I think I was starting to hate everything about her. I didn't know why, I just was. And I knew that the feeling had to be mutual. I mean, let's face it, neither of us really cared about the other anymore. We were just together because we liked being together. Not because we actually really wanted to be together anymore. But because it was comfortable. But it was so fucking unbearable to know that I still loved her, and I didn't know why the hell I did. I ran my hands through my hair a couple of times, just trying to clear my head. I grabbed my leather jacket and walked out the door. I stopped when I saw Clare just sitting on the porch with her head in her hands and her elbows on her knees.

"What are you still doing here?" I asked. It had been fifteen minutes; she should have been home by now.

"Why are we still together?" she whispered as she stood up. I stood beside her: I was still taller than her even when she stood up straight. I wasn't going to act like I couldn't hear her; most guys did and it was pretty stupid in my opinion.

"I don't even know anymore," I answered honestly. She nodded.

"Because I hate everything about you. And I know that you feel the same so don't even try to deny it," she commanded through gritted teeth. I wasn't really going to, but okay. "The only problem is that I still love you. And I have no idea why and I don't know if you still do," she trailed off.

"Only when I stop to think about it do I hate you. But I still have…_feelings_ for you," I replied honestly. She smiled and leaned in towards me.

"Well I guess that's enough. For now," she whispered before she leaned in and kissed me.

I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you?  
I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you?


	29. If the Moon Fell Down Tonight

**An: Sorry sorry sorry sorry! Okay, I would like to apologize for my, ahem, extended absence. I was taking that time to work on more personal works, so I wasn't focusing on this one. Oh! and if there are any Twilight (eeep!) fans that read this, I'm going to start an Ipod Shuffle: Twilight realllly soon. Just a little promotion note.**

**Chapter song is If the Moon Fell Down Tonight by Dear Juliet/Chase Coy**

Eli's POV

"Eli, you're being facetious. Again," Clare reminded me as she smiled. I wouldn't tell her so, but every time she smiled at me, my heart seemed to beat faster.

"No I'm not." She gave me a look and I knew that she would argue about how serious I was intending to be. "No, see look. How is it funny that I told you that I want this to last? You're the one who begged me to tell you what was on my mind. And I did tell you that it's too soon for me to have told you that," I reminded her gently.

"Well, I agree with you. I just didn't really know you were being serious," she whispered as she snuggled into my side as we sat on the couch in my parent's living room.

"You know, I think I must have done something right," I mumbled as I kissed along her jaw-line.

"What?" she muttered brokenly. I pulled away, just so the both of us could concentrate.

"Well, I have you, and by all accounts I don't deserve you. But yet I get you right by my side everyday. " She opened her mouth to protest, but I held a finger to her lips. "so somewhere along the way I must have done something so right that the universe decided that I could have you. And I'm hoping that you'll want to stay here forever." She smiled and kissed me soundly on my lips.

"Why are you always so dramatic?" she asked when she pulled away. I didn't even get a chance to respond before her cell phone started ringing. She pulled it out of her pocket and sighed. I knew that it was her mom, telling her that she had to be home or else World War Three would break out. Okay, just kidding she's not that dramatic, but that's pretty much what she implies.

"I have to go," she told me sadly. She got up to leave, but I grabbed her waist and pulled her back down.

"Stay here, just for the night," I begged. She shook her head and sighed.

"I wish I could but I just can't. You know what my parents would do if I just didn't come home. You know they already have problems with you. I don't think kidnapping their daughter would really help your case," she reminded me as she got up and walked towards the door.

"Clare, the moon could fall down tonight and I wouldn't have a problem if you were still here. As long as you're here, everything will be all right," I assured her when I reached her. "The future's never certain, so at least just stay here tonight." She smiled and leaned on me.

"I wish I could, but I can't. I love you." And then she was gone.

~~~x~~~

She had gone home, but she was still sending me text messages because her parents had serious issues about actually talking after ten.

_**I just can't get you off my mind**_. I sent. I flopped back down and closed my eyes. Even when I closed my eyes to rest I still dreamed about her.

_Why would you even try?_ Now she can be witty? Really? Damn.

_**You mock my pain. But**_ _**I'm serious. You know that I dream about you when you're not here? Because I love being near you, and dreams are the next best thing.**_ I was half joking, and I think she knew that. Well, I hoped she did, because nothing is funny if you have to explain what you said.

_Well then come open the dang door, Eli!_ She didn't have to tell me twice. I jumped out of bed and went to get the door. There she was, holding her arms around her even though it wasn't cold.

"I agree with you. Everything you said earlier today," she whispered as I pulled her into my arms. I leaned down and met her soft lips with my slightly chapped ones. We stood like that for a little while, you know, just making out in the entryway of my parent's house like no one else was home.

I led her up to my room and we both laid down on my bed. It was late, and I knew we were both tired.

"I can't get you off my mind either, Eli. And I dream about you every night," she told me as I wrapped my arms around her waist. Hell, I don't know what I did right, but I'm glad I did whatever it was. Because I don't know how I could live without this.

And even if the moon fell down tonight,  
There'd be nothing to worry about at all  
Because you make the whole world shine.  
As long as you're here everything will be alright


End file.
